damn it jim
by Tommy.k.oneshot
Summary: bones and jim get married while on shore leave. rated m for all the smutty goodness. mckirk.


Jim and Leonard had been together for over two years, but they kept their relationship to themselves. They didn't want it coming to the attention of any of their crewmembers, as they were both fairly private people when it came to their social lives. The only person on the enterprise, other than themselves, who knew of their relationship, was the engineer Montgomery Scott. He had once had the misfortune to walk in on the captain and the chief medical officer in the middle of a rather thorough medical examination, that involved the doctor giving a blowjob. Scotty had been sworn to secrecy, though he had no plans to tell anyone, as he very much wished he could erase the image from his mind.

The enterprise was stopping back at earth overnight to refuel and stock up on provisions. Kirk had decided it would be an amusing idea to anchor in Las Vegas, Nevada instead of the main Starfleet base, just for the fun of it. The crew was granted a day shore leave while everything happened. It had been two months since the crew had stepped off the ship, and all were grateful for the brief change of scenery. Kirk and Bones packed up their belongings and left the ship together and headed for their hotel.

"Why the hell are we in Vegas, Jim?" Bones grumbled as they got into a cab.

"Because we can be" the captain smiled back. But it wasn't any ordinary smile, Bones knew that look, something was up.

"Oh good god, what have you got planned, we're only here one night?"

"Just wait and see" Kirk chuckled as the cab pulled to a stop in front of the fanciest hotel in town. James T. Kirk was never to be outdone when it came to pampering his lover. The doctor's jaw dropped as he was yanked out of the car by his boyfriend. He wanted to be angry with Jim for spending so much money on him, again, but he just couldn't. Though he would try is damn hardest to look put out.

They walked up to the reception desk and Kirk leaned over the top to smile at the pretty blond lady working there. "I have a reservation under Kirk, for this evening," he said, a note of flirtation in his voice.

"Oh, ok let me see," the woman said, typing something into her computer, "ah yes here we are, Mr. Kirk." The woman than handed Jim his key "let me know if you need anything. anything at all" she said. Jim nodded at her and winked as him and McCoy headed for the elevator.

"Must you flirt with everything that moves?" Bones sighed.

"Why yes I must, Leonard" as the doors to the elevator closed, Jim leaned over and planted a kiss on the grumpy mans lips. "Just try and lighten up love, we have a night off! Time all to ourselves!"

Bones sighed, Jim was right. He did need to lighten up a bit; he was about to kiss his boyfriend back when the elevator doors dinged open. "Here we are Bonesy!" the blond man beamed, as he walked to the first door to the left of the elevator. The two walked over, and Kirk went to unlock the door.

"Before I let us in I want you to close your eyes," the captain said sternly to his companion.

"Oh for Christ's sake, Jim!" the doctor moaned, but he did as he was told. Jim then unlocked the door picked up the luggage, took it inside, then came back out to lead his waiting boyfriend into the room.

"Ok, ok just stay here with your eyes closed for like two more seconds," Jim said excitedly. Bones was beginning to become very curious now; his lover was never this secretive. The doctor heard some shuffling noises, and then Jim spoke again. "Alright, open them."

Bones opened his eyes, to see a wonderfully lavish suite, but at first, no Kirk. It took him a moment before he realized the younger man was kneeling on the floor. And another moment after that to understand why, he was kneeling on the floor.

Jim was down on one knee, holding up a small gold ring in his outstretched hand.

"Get up of the floor, Jim." The doctor struggled out. Kirk felt sick to his stomach, standing up slowly. Was he being rejected? He wanted to cry, but he refused to. He would handle the situation with dignity.

The captain his mouth to speak, trying to think of something to say to save the night. But before any words could leave his mouth, his boyfriend confused him further by giving him a gigantic hug and bursting out laughing.

"I, I don't understand." The captain squeaked, "Is… is that a yes?" by this point Jim just about felt like he was going to faint.

" Jim, I…." the older man broke the hug and reached into his own pocket. He pulled his hand out, and placed his hand palm up in front of Jim. Opening his hand slowly, he revealed a small gold circle in the middle of his hand. "You stole my thunder you basterd." The doctor laughed.

" WHAT?" Jim couldn't wrap his head around what was happening. " I…. you… wait, what? Were you going to propose to me?" the poor blond was dumbfounded.

"Yes, you idiot." Bones grinned, still laughing. Finally understanding the hilarity of the situation, Kirk also burst into laughter. "So what do you say Jim?"

"I asked you first, asshole." Jim was grinning from ear to ear.

"Ill take that as a yes," the doctor said slipping the ring onto the other man's finger.

"As will I," said Jim, doing the same to the other man, and then giving him a big sloppy kiss. Bones wrapped his arms around Jim, and pulled his love forward, pressing their bodies together.

Once the kiss broke, McCoy pulled back and smiled at his new fiancé, " there is just one more thing to take care of." He said

"And that would be…." Jim looked the other man up and down, "ripping all your clothes off?"

" In a moment, I have one more question for you kiddo."

"Okay…" Jim was confused, what else could there be to discus?

""So you goona take my last name?" Bones looked Jim straight in the face as he asked.

" I asked you to marry me first," the blonde retorted, " I think its only fair you take mine."

"Oh, but Jim McCoy sounds so much better than Leonard Kirk." The doctor scowled

" But Jams Tiberius McCoy? I think not. Leonard Kirk is much better."

"When do you ever use your full legal name? Really, James?"

"On all my ID cards, Leonard." The captain was not giving up, he was not going to loose this. The doctor rolled his eyes. "How about a game? Winner gets to keep their last name?" Jim suggested cheekily.

"Oh and what game would this be? I'm not playing cards, or any type of drinking game with you, I am well aware that I will loose those."

"It doesn't really have a name. But here let me explain. Basically we kiss each other-"

"I'm liking the sound of this" the doctor smirked.

"Let me finish," Kirk poked his lover in the stomach, " we kiss each other, but we cant touch each other in any other way. The first person to touch the other looses. Think you can handle that Bonesy?"

"Can you?" retorted the doctor, planting his face on the blonde's. The two kissed passionately lips pressing together. The captain was already getting impatient, and had to shove his hands deep in his pockets to control himself.

Sensing him partner tensing up, bones decided to up the anti, and slipped his tongue into the other mans mouth. Their tongues danced around each other's mouths. Kirk was growing more restless by the second. He bit on the other mans lip and pulled back, before going back into the kiss.

Bones, who had thought himself calm and collected before, and had been sure about his imminent victory, snapped. He couldn't take it anymore, that small bite had pushed him over the edge. His hands shot from his sides to grab his lover by the hips and slam him against the wall. His hands roaming all over the other mans body.

Kirk gasped as his back hit the wall. He was about to plunge himself back into the kiss, when he realized what had just happened. Jim was about the start his victory speech when he felt bones sucking on one of the pressure points on the right side of his neck.

"Bones" he moaned, "Bones, Bones, st- stop."

The doctor immediately dropped his hands and pulled back. " What? What is it?" he asked, concern growing in his voice and eyes, " did- did I hurt you?"

" No, of course not," Kirk said lovingly. " But um, Bonesy?"

"What Jim?" the doctor was confused by the other mans actions.

"I win."

" Oh for fucks sake." The doctor groaned. "Really Jim? Really?"

"Yes really. Oh and to answer you question why Vegas? Because this hotel has a wedding chapel, now come on." Jim grabbed McCoy's hand and started to lead him to the door.

" Can this not wait till after I've fucked your brains out?" Bones scowled.

"No it can not. Come on its like ten minutes, and then ill fuck YOUR brains out. Mr. Kirk." Jim smiled. Bones rolled his eyes, and allowed his lover to lead him out the door to the elevator.

Once downstairs in the chapel, the young blonde could hardly control his excitement. He and the doctor had removed their rings and given them back to one another before the ceremony, in order to exchange them at the proper time. Bones watched his lover bounce up and down on the balls of his feet across the alter from him and smiled. They were just waiting for the efficient to finish getting the paperwork in order, and the ceremony would begin. Bones could barely believe his luck, he was about to marry the love of his life. The gorgeous, spirited, captain of the U.S.S. Enterprise, James Tiberius Kirk. A small part of him wanted to slap himself across the face to make sure it was real, but he didn't.

What seemed like an eternity later, the efficient walked to the front of the room and took his place.

"Alright are you both ready to begin?" he asked. Both Jim and Bones nodded.

"Good. Now Leonard, you are entirely aware of your legal name change?"

"Yeah." Bones chuckled.

"Good. James repeat after me; I James Tiberius Kirk,"

"I James Tiberius Kirk"

"Take you Leonard McCoy Kirk"

"Take you Leonard McCoy Kirk"

"To be my lawfully wedded husband"

"To be my lawfully wedded husband"

"As long as we both shall live"

"As long as we both shall live"

"Thank you, now Leonard, your turn. I Leonard McCoy Kirk"

"I Leonard McCoy Kirk"

"Take you James Tiberius Kirk"

"Take you James Tiberius Kirk"

"To be my lawfully wedded husband"

"To be my lawfully wedded husband"

"As long as we both shall live"

"As long as we both shall live"

"If you will exchange the rings." The couple grinned at each other and placed the rings on each other's fingers, for the second time that day. "I now pronounce you lawfully wedded you may now k-" the efficient couldn't get the last word of the sentence out of his mouth before Jim threw himself onto Bones. The older man caught his new husband, and the two shared the most passionate kiss of their lives, save for the kiss they had shared after their first time making love.

The two then grabbed hands, thanked the efficient, and sauntered out of the chapel, through the lobby, and back over to the elevator. As soon as the elevator doors closed, Bones turned to Jim.

" As soon as we get back to our room, I'm going to fuck that pretty little ass of yours into oblivion. Just so you are aware." Bones growled

Kirk leaned over placing is mouth next to his husbands ear, nipping lightly at his earlobe, " I'm surprised at your self control. I myself am already far to excited," he said moving the doctor's hand to his already rock hard crotch. Bones gripped onto his captain's bulge firmly, making Kirk gasp.

"Don't test me Jim," he snarled. The elevator doors opened, and Bones shoved Jim out and against the door to their room in one swift movement. The doctor was now standing behind the captain, both hands on the younger man's hips. " Open the door."

Jim did as he was told. As soon as the door was open Bones spun Jim around, lifted him up from under his ass, so the blonde's legs sat atop his hipbones, and slammed the door shut with his foot. Kirk latched his mouth firmly to the doctors neck as he was carried towards the bed, biting and sucking on the skin, leaving a trail of purple marks down the older mans neck.

Bones dropped Jim onto the bed and crawled on top of him. "You are going to pay for making me wait to do this, Jim." Bones muttered as he pulled of Jim's shirt and began to undo his pants.

"Ah but you see love, that was the point of making you wait," Jim smirked. This just encouraged the brunette more. He quickly had Jim stripped completely naked, and reached down, pulling the captains belt free of his pants. He then grabbed both of the blonde's hands and pinned them above his head with one hand. Using the other he wound the belt around Jims wrists and up trough the bars of the headboard, securing his arms in that position. Jim tried to pull his hands free in vein. His attempts to loosen his bonds seemed only to make them tighter.

"Don't bother, Jim. Your hands are there till I want them elsewhere."

" Good god, Bones," Jim smiled, " I should make you wait to fuck me more often."

"Damn it Jim." Bones half moaned, half growled. The sound of his lovers voice combined with the restraints, made Jim even harder, if that was possible.

"Bones, please." Jim whimpered, lifting his hips up into the other mans, trying to create some friction.

"Tisk tisk, who is impatient now?" the doctor chuckled; sliding himself down, so his face was right above the other mans erection. He blew hot air onto the head of the blonds cock, making him squirm. Bones gripped the base of the member and placed his mouth over the top, sucking lightly then pulling off with a pop. Jim moaned loudly. Bones lowered his head again, this time taking all of the other man into his mouth, bobbing his head up and down, and swirling his tongue around the shaft. As he did so, incoherent noises mixed with profanities flooded from Jims lips. After a while Bones pulled off, soliciting a small whimper from Jim.

"Don't worry, I'm just getting started," Bones smirked. Jim's eyes widened, he rarely ever saw this side of his new husband. Suddenly Bones grabbed Jim by the lower back, picked him up and flipped him over. Rubbing his still fully clothed crotch against the blonde's ass. Jim could feel the doctors hard on pressing against his backside and moaned softly in spite of himself.

Bones backed off of Jim, and smacked his ass hard with an open palm. Jim yelped, enjoying the unexpected stinging sensation. "Again," he pleaded. Hearing the need in his lovers voice only spurred Bones on more. He smacked Jim's ass again and again, till was bright red. Bones then slid off the bed and walked over to his bag. Reaching inside, he pulled out a small bottle of lube, and was about to grab some condoms when Jim piped up from the bed.

" If you are getting condoms, you better fucking drop them." The doctor's eyes widened. Jim had never before been comfortable with the idea of going bareback, and he had respected his wishes.

"Are, are you sure?" Bones asked

"One hundred and ten percent," Jim nodded. " This is something you wanted, and if not now, then when?"

" I fucking love you, James T. Kirk." Bones dropped the condoms back into his bag and took his clothing off before he climbed back up onto the bed. As he did, Jim wiggled himself up onto his knees, putting his ass proudly on display. The sight of the beautiful man spread out in front of him made Bones' member ache even more, he wanted to pound that stunning ass straight into the mattress, but he had to be patient, he didn't want to hurt the blonde.

He uncapped the bottle and slicked up three of his fingers with the lube. He then slowly, pushed the first finger into Jim's tight hole. He gave Jim a moment to adjust before he began to move his finger slowly in and out. After a while Jim started to move his hips back and forth, fucking himself on the brunette's finger. Bones took this as a signal that Jim was ready and slipped in a second finger. This warranted a quiet whimper from the younger man as he adjusted around both digits. After he had, Bones began to slowly thrust his fingers in and out of his lover. Scissoring and crooking them every so often to make Jim moan and whimper softly. He then added a third finger, stretching Jim out even more. Bones maneuvered his skillful fingers with ease, brushing them across Jim's prostate, making him spew profanities.

" Fucking hell Bones, if you don't fuck me soon, I'm going to find a way to get my hands free, and do it myself. I swear to god."

" Well if you insist." The doctor willingly obliged, pulling his fingers out of the other man, quickly replacing them with his lubed up cock. He pressed in slowly at first, as he didn't want to hurt Jim, but it seemed Jim had other plans. He slammed himself onto the doctor, making both men gasp at the sensation. It hurt Jim a little but he didn't care, he couldn't wait ay longer.

"Move," the blonde panted. Bones didn't need to be told twice, and began to pull his hips back and slam them back into Jim at a rapid pace, brushing against his prostate repeatedly. "Bones, please," the captain begged. He didn't need to say anything else; Bone reached down and stroked Jim's cock in rhythm with his thrusts. It wasn't long before both men were on the brink of orgasm.

"Bones, I can't last much longer." Jim was gripping at the sheets so hard his knuckles were white.

"I'm almost there too, cum for me baby," the doctor huffed in between thrusts. Hearing his lover speak was enough to push the young captain over the edge. He came violently all over the doctor's hand and the bed. Feeling Jim's muscles tighten around him, sent Bones reeling into orgasm. He shot his entire load into Jim and slowly pulled out, both men collapsing.

" Could you, hands," Jim panted barely able to move. Bones nodded and untied his lover's hands. Once free, Jim rolled over and placed his head on the other mans shoulder. " That. Was amazing. Why have we never done that before?" Jim asked smiling up at bones.

"Honestly, I have no idea."

"Well, we should do it again," Jim, giggled "Mr. Kirk."

" Oh shut it," mumbled bones, kissing Jim on the forehead, as the two slowly drifted off to sleep.

The next day, once back aboard the enterprise both men went to their posts, they had decided to leave their rings on, it was time for them to stop hiding their relationship.

Bones was down in the medical bay, taking inventory, when he was paid a visit by Mr. Spock. The Vulcan did not seem to notice the wedding ring as the doctor worked.

"Dr. McCoy, may I have a moment of your time?" the first officer asked.

"Sure, what do you need? And it's Kirk." He added absentmindedly.

" What about the captain?" Spock was confused.

" Nothing."

" Then why did you mention him dr. McCoy?"

" I didn't, and it's Kirk, Mr. Spock"

" What about Kirk?" by this point the poor Vulcan was utterly lost.

" Its dr. Kirk, Spock, not dr. McCoy. Now what did you want?"

" I just wanted to ask if I could acquire a headache tablet for Mr. Sulu, it seems he had to much to drink last night. But why would you wish for me to call you dr. Kirk, Leonard? I am entirely confused by this statement." Bones held up his left hand with a sigh. It took Spock a moment to register the purpose of this gesture.

" Are you trying to tell me that you wed the captain over our one night of shore leave?" Spock was utterly dumbfounded. Just at that moment, Scotty walked into the med bay.

"Oi! It's about time there laddy!" the engineer was grinning.

" You were that the captain and dr. Mc-Kirk, were romantically involved, Mr. Scott?"

"Dr. Kirk? How'ed he trick ya inta that one?"

" I lost our game." Bones sighed. Scotty raised his eyebrow but didn't say anything. He instead turned back to Spock.

" Ya I knew. I was told to keep me lips shut. But it seems there is no longer a need ta." Before either of the other men in the med bay knew what was happening, Scotty was speaking across the ship wide intercom. " Oi! Listen up you lot! The captain an' the doctor got hitched last night, go say congrats when ya have a chance."

Up on the bridge, Jim smiled, as all of his crew turned to stare at him with varied looks of shock and amusement on their faces.


End file.
